Archive | January 2, 2011

Wizard of Hogwarts Part 1

(This was written for a Harry Potter/fairytale fan fic contest.)

Light smut warning

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Dorothy. Dorothy was an ordinary girl, just as normal as you and I  – except for a few things. To start with, she had no parents. Both of them had disappeared in the middle of the night shortly after she was born, leaving her to live with her Aunt Em – though oddly enough she was never sure how Aunt Em was related to her, but it didn’t matter. That was the other way Dorothy was different than everyone else;  she was a sheltered child. Aunty Em kept her home schooled, and all she had for company were the old woman, three farm hands and her faithful dog Toto.

It was a particularly dark and stormy day when Dorothy learned the news that her beloved Toto was to be taken from her. He’d bitten the evil neighbor lady, and the woman  returned with police officers while Dorothy was in the barn with one of the farm hands.  When Dorothy found out, she screamed at her Aunty Em and fled towards the old woman’s house, in hopes of saving her precious dog. Through a twist of fate, Toto had escaped the woman’s beastly clutches and Dorothy managed to catch him just as the sky was darkening to nearly pitch black.

Looking at the sky with alarm Dorothy cried out, “Oh Toto! We’d better get back to the farm!”

She ran as fast as she could, still clutching her dog to her tightly, her blue and white checkered dress flapping in the breeze and her little blue shoes stumbling over stubble in the old corn field. When she reached the farm she called home, she raced first into the house, but found everyone had already left. Dashing back outside, she glanced once more at the sky, noting the strange purple and blue lightning that seemed to be emanating from the darkest core of the clouds.

She hurried to the storm cellar, but it was tightly locked.  Finally, as the rain began to pelt her, she hurried back to the house and threw herself under the bed. She  clutched her tiny Toto tightly and cried. “How could they have gone to the storm cellar without me!? After all the times I’ve helped them!”

Winds buffeted the tiny house and Dorothy cringed as she heard glass breaking. Then the house really began to shake and the wind screamed through the broken windows. Tears spilled down Dorothy’s face, her teeth clenched together and her eyes pressed tightly closed as terror swept over her.  She felt herself being tossed around and then everything went black.

Dorothy’s eyes fluttered opened slowly to the sound of Toto barking. She rolled over with a groan, and found herself staring up into the face of the most hideous – yet tiny – creature she’d ever seen!

Screaming, she threw herself backwards and slammed into the overturned bed frame, her eyes huge.

“Most likely a muggle,” the creature muttered.

“But why would Master brings a muggle?” a second voice asked, and Dorothy’s head swiveled to see another of the strange things.

“Who knows what Master be thinking.  Maybe Master thinks it be funny?” the first responded, walking towards her slowly, a stick clasped in it’s tiny hand. It’s large ears waggled with each step, and the ugly clothes it wore resembled a dishtowel more than anything else.

“What are you doing?” Dorothy cried. She tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go. “How did you get to Kansas?”

“Kansas? What be Kansas?” the creature asked, stopping in it’s tracks and looking confused. “I be Topsey, and you be?”

“I’m Dorothy,” she said slowly, looking at the creature’s giant poppy eyeballs.

“I’s Blinky,” the other creature said, starting forward too.

“What do you mean what’s Kansas? THIS is Kansas,” she waved her arm around indicating the general area.

“Oh! This houses be named Kansas! Topsey is sorry-”

“No, not the house, the state! The whole area of land-” She started.

“No, this land be Britain,” Blinky said, shaking his head.

“Britain? Like England?” Dorothy blinked at them, sitting up slowly. “But that’s-”

“I don’t know where yous from Miss Dorothy, but our Master has brought you here for reasons we house elves do not know,” Topsey looked at her sorrowfully. “But now wes will never know why, not after what’s happened to Master….”

“What ?” she sat up and called Toto to her. The small dog had been sniffing around Blinky’s large bare feet, but came obediently.

“Whens yous landed,” Blinky said quietly. “Kansas landed on Master and now…”

“What? You mean the house?” Dorothy asked. “The house landed on your master?”

The house elves nodded their heads, large ears flapping.

“Oh, oh dear,” she bit her lip and slowly climbed to her feet, noticing that the elves shuffled backwards quickly. Then, the small creatures lead her somberly outside where a multitude of the tiny creatures, all similarly dressed, milled about, their attention focused on one corner of the house. Dorothy made her way to the spot that seemed to hold everyone’s interest. The small creatures drew back from her as she brushed past, Toto yapping furiously in her arms.

Sticking out from under the base of the house was a pair of feet in the ugliest stockings and most hideous red house slippers that Dorothy had ever seen.

The small creatures were muttering and talking amongst themselves and then something happened. With a loud popping sound a woman appeared and stalked forward, her flaming pink hair sticking out at odd angles, a T-shirt bearing the words “Weird Sisters” hugging her busty form.

“Who’s this then?” she asked, eyeing Dorothy and her dog.

“Miss Dorothy, the muggle of Kansas,” Topsey said, bowing quickly.

“Muggle, eh? What’s she doin ‘ere then?” The woman eyed the girl up and down.

“Master summoned her before…” the house elf pointed to the stocking-ed feet.

“I see. I’m Tonks by the way,” she held her hand out to Dorothy.

“Oh, hello,” she shook the woman’s hand, looking around uncomfortably. “Where am I?”

“You’re about thirty kilos from Hogwarts,” Tonks said matter of fact. “Course I don’t expect that to mean anything to you. Just follow that road and it will take you straight there.”

“But why would I want to go there?” she asked, looking puzzled. “I want to go home-”

“Exactly! Maybe Dumbledore can help you,” Tonks answered, leaning down to look at the feet once more.

Suddenly there was another loud pop and a second figure appeared, this one a dark haired woman with heavy eyelids.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed at Tonks, looking between the pink haired woman and the feet sticking out from beneath the house.

“I could ask you the same, Bella!” Tonks pulled out a wand and pointed it threateningly at the newcomer.

“You know very well why I’m here –” she stopped and stared at the feet. “Where are the ruby slippers?”

“They’re on new feet,” Tonks snickered, waving her wand and nodding towards Dorothy’s feet.

Everyone looked down at the same moment and Dorothy squealed when she saw the ugly house shoes in place of her pretty blue shoes. “Where did my shoes go!?”

“What trickery is this?!” Bella snarled. “Those shoes are mine!”

“No, they’re not,” Tonks informed her. “They belong to Dorothy now. I suggest you go, Bella, before I call the others.” She flicked her wand and a misty white shape began to form.

“I don’t fear you or them,” the dark woman hissed nastily. “I’ll leave, but only because there’s nothing else to do here.” She glared at Dorothy. “And be warned, you will pay,” and then with a loud pop she was gone.

“What was that?” Dorothy squeezed Toto tighter.

“That was Bella, she’s an evil witch if there ever was one.” Tonks explained and wrinkled her nose.

“Witch?” Dorothy gasped.

“Oh yes, I’m a witch too, though I’m on the side of good, as it were. Anyhoo, as I was saying take the road straight to the castle. I have to be going now-”

“Wait, why can’t you just take me there?” Dorothy stared at Tonks pleadingly.

“Because I can’t. If you can find the castle then that means Dumbledore will help you, if not.. well, then you’re on your own.”

“What do you mean?” The house elves were pressing in closer now, their large ears listening in.

“I mean that it’s an enchanted castle and only a few can see it on their own. If you can see it then Dumbledore will help you. He’s very busy right now, what with the recent attacks and the students running amuck and all.” She shook her pink head. “Now, I must be off! Keep an eye out for Bella, I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t try to pull something!” and with a loud pop Tonks was gone.

2010 – a Photo Blog

It’s time again for Blogophilia, the weekly , multi-platform game where Marvin posts prompts to be used in a blog post. This week’s prompts are:

Blogophilia 44.3 Topic: “Take Two and Call Me in the Morning”
Bonus points:
(Hard, 2pts): Impart some pearls of wisdom
(Easy, 1pt): include the words “directions not included”

Starting next week (I hope) I have a series of short stories planned. I hate to say I’m going to do it for sure, because that guarantees something will go wrong…

So, in the meantime what am I going to do today? I’ve decided that since it’s the New Year (and because Marvin says so) I need to impart some pearls of wisdom to everyone. Problem is, I don’t know that I have any. Take two and call me in the morning sounds pretty sage, but if you call me I probably won’t answer. Yeah, I have a phone phobia. Normal? No, but I don’t care. That’s the beauty of only spending time around other weirdoes (no offense intended guys). We all have oddball crap, so any one person’s particular eccentricity doesn’t seem so odd. Besides, the strange things just make us all cooler.

And yeah, though I just turned 31, I’m still pretty cool. That’s one thing with having your birthday right before New Years; it really is the start of the year all the way around for me. I suppose I ought to do some kind of introspective thinking, but I don’t feel like it this year. I have too much other stuff to do.

This leaves me wondering what to do with the “New Years blog”. It’s an expected posting, something that bloggers the world over do, but since it’s directions not included with the expectations, I’ll have to come up with something cheesy. In past years I’ve done my favorite bloggers, my year of “firsts”, my “already accomplished New Year’s resolutions” , etc. The logical thing to do this year is something with my books or my cover art, since I need to promote those, but I don’t want to do the logical thing. And then, Myke suggested on facebook that I should do a Photoblog of my New Years’ Eve, but it wasn’t photo worthy, however, I do love a good photo blog, so….

My favorite Photos of 2010

(links take you to that month’s collection on Flickr)

The new dog:

fido 3

These are just cool:

old cafe sign

on the hill

Rain on the vine:

close up vine

Mitchell’s Campground cemetery:

flowers filtered

Old wood:

old wood

Visiting grandma Naylor:

the four grandkids with grandma

Red tailed hawk:

red tailed hawk

A gun, a mirror and an idiot – you do the math:

bullet hole in mirror

Dad shines a little light on the situation:

his light is unsuccessful ha ha


close up 2

Creepy bug:

a scary bug

Sunset swan:

firey sunset swan



fallen feather

Father’s Day:

chris and dad

Neat sky over wal-mart

awesome clouds

Neighbor’s flowers:

pink double hollyhock

Wild chicory:

silver blue

Our highway is now deserted:

down the highway

Awesome clouds:

i swear I will stop with these soon

Fourth of July

pink and gold

Wall madness

more brick 2

Dying summer

petals are gone

With retro camera ap for Android cool effects are only a click away

yeah another one

scratched outlet

bad quality on purpose - you have to love it

Empty (yes it’s the same chair again)



tire marks

More ap fun:


Happy anniversary:

retro polaroid


jo pumpkin lit


leaves and ruins


king kong

Marvin’s side business (when he’s not taking over earth or running blogophilia)

starvin marvins

Autumn at the park:

bright fall trees

Frost on the windshield:

frost close up 3


yellow splash 2



Our tree

the tree, the bears and the christmas pumpkin

cool ornament

This is frost that was standing straight up like a forest:

standing frost


reaching ice

After going through these photos it’s amazing how many of these photos were only taken because I had to stop working and take the dog out, and also how many things I can think of that I missed photographing! Lesson one: Always take a camera. Lesson two: You gotta take a break now and then, or you miss all the little wonders of the world.

Now that’s a pearl of wisdom!

Have a great 2011 everyone!!

Song playing at the moment – “Without You I’m Nothing” – Placebo

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