Art: Naked Demon Chick Anime Style

(August 2008)

 

The fire was an accident – not what I was going for originally but it turned out better! It’s made by using the default correl marble brush and stamping it a bunch of times in a super dark orange, a medium and then a light yellow and then using the smudge brush with the same marble tip to smear it around…  I am happy with it anyway

So, I uploaded it to photobucket and…..

Yes, they deleted ONE version of it (It was the big version for my MySpace wallpaper) no doubt because it had animated “boobies”. So, in a fit of annoyance I REUPLOADED it with this snazzy title:

This is precisely the reason I have moved to Flickr now – they allow you to “flag” your own work as age appropriate or as artwork… unlike photobucket which at least used to be full of penises and naked asses… but my cartoon boobs are enough of a problem to delete…

song playing at the moment – Brothers on a Hotel Bed – Death Cab for Cutie

Rambling Poetry: Oh, Elizabeth

(from August 2008)

I was trying to sleep and for some reason suddenly found myself channeling Adam Duritz and Don Mclean at the same time, which is funny because I have been listening to Death Cab for Cutie the last two days – but who am I to complain?  Anyway, it’s actually a song – kind of – but I think that falls under poetry! So here is some….

Oh, Elizabeth, do you think that we could fly
Away from the ground into the blue studded sky
Where the only thing lost is the next golden age
And the sounds down below mix to a sweet serenade

Can you see past the dirt, past the coming decay
Where the lives lived are wasted and your sweat doesn’t pay
Past disease and misuse, past the lack of your tears
To a time long ago when we both used to feel

Oh, Elizabeth, do you think that we could fly
Away from the ground into the blue studded sky
To a place in our memory when the whole world felt free
Hazy and sweet wrapped in colors of green

I’m dreaming of angels, wearing star studded shoes
And they dance cross the sky while below we all loose
Wait in anticipation for dawn’s coming day
The sun rises like ashes that burn as we pray

Oh, Elizabeth, do you think that we could fly
Away from the ground into the blue studded sky
Past the hating and wanting, where we’re shedding our skin
Drink the wine of communion while we’re drowning in sin

Can you see me?
Can you catch me?
When I fall, will I fall alone?
Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
Are you there or am I really here all alone?

Oh Elizabeth, do you think that we could fly
Away from the ground into the blue studded sky
Oh Elizabeth, do you know what we’ve done
What we’ve corrupted and ruined and now overrun

Oh Elizabeth, do you think we could be free
From the chaos and destruction that is all that we see
Oh Elizabeth, can we get out of this place
Away from the death that is the whole human race?

Song playing at the moment – Summer Skin – Death Cab for Cutie

Collab Poem: Blue Waters

(from August 2008)

This time there was a theme: Country Songs, so, I wrote a country song 🙂

I did do a pic-n-poem version using a random photobucket photo, but since it has a person in it that I don’t know, I am running the text only version:

Down by the creek,
A soft kiss on the cheek
Two kids at play, on a summer’s simple day
They grew too soon
And she moved away from you
But you smiled like you were dyin’
And the world whistled your tune

They say Blue Waters run deep
And you play that song so well my friend
So open the curtains and take one last bow
Fly high and proud, and if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.
Where the circles never broken and life keeps going
Round-n-round

Eat at Joe’s,
The best food we know
Don’t go too fast or you’ll miss out all the fun
Don’t give up tryin’
Live like you’re dyin’
Take this advice
And, my friend, you will be smilin’

They say Blue Waters run deep
And you play that song so well my friend
So open the curtains and take one last bow
Fly high and proud, and if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.
Where the circles never broken and life keeps going
Round-n-round

Oh, the crowd,
Whistles and shouts
Next time, maybe, we’ll try something new
We’re up high
In a sunny yellow sky
I think I’m the only one who sees
We’re just pretending, you and I

They say Blue Waters run deep

And you play that song so well my friend….
Yes, you always do….

I find myself
On a lost, dusty shelf
Brush off the dirt to see if I still shine
Just like the rainbow
Follows the storm
You ain’t seen nothing yet
We’re worn but still goin’ strong

They say Blue Waters run deep
And you play that song so well my friend
So open the curtains and take one last bow
Fly high and proud, and if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.
Where the circles never broken and life keeps going
Round-n-round

Song playing at the moment – “Addicted” – Ace Young

Flash Fiction: Lesson Learned

(from July 2008)

This was written for a collab challenge:

Lessons Learned

The cool October breeze ruffles my hair. I stare past the line of naked trees, to the buildings beyon,d and wonder for the hundredth time, “What am I doing here?” But I know the answer. I’m waiting.

I close my eyes and picture memories of days long past. A childhood spent cowering in fear. Mother certainly believed in corporal punishment unless, of course, she was the one in the wrong. She’d beat the shit out of us and dare us to cry, so mad she didn’t make any sense. I used to think, “Isn’t a person suppose to cry when they’re in pain”, but that didn’t matter to Mother. It was the first lesson that I learned: when you hurt, no one wants to know. They want you to pretend that you’re fine, even as they beat you with their fists.

“This will hurt me more than it will hurt you.” That’s what she muttered with each blow, but of course it hadn’t. It had never really hurt mother, in fact she rarely remembered it the next morning when she’d wake from her drunken stupor and demand breakfast. If the eggs were burned I’d be sent back again with a black eye for my trouble. I quickly learned to please people on the first try.

In my teen years, Daddy was always in and out of jail. At 16 I quit school and got a job at the bar. I was only supposed to wait tables but soon I was on the stage whirling around the pole for money – and good money too. That’s when I learned that money couldn’t fix everything and I moved out on my own by the year’s end. Then I met him.

He was everything I’d longed for: brains, brawn and beauty wrapped up under a shock of dark hair. He’d smiled and winked and told me how pretty I was. I believed him, never thinking that it could have been the whiskey talking. From there things went from bad to worse. I had to fight almost every day just to survive. He’d lay on the couch and demanded that I wait on him while he watched TV and told me what a whore I was. I’d heard it all before and learned to keep my mouth shut long ago. A valuable lesson taught by my parents.

But some days it was hard. When I was out of pills, I felt like I could scream, like all the world was closing in on me. It didn’t help that people were constantly causing trouble, like little whinny ass bitches, and they were suppose to be my friends. And then my sister was just as bad, making up lies and belittling me. It got so bad that I’d hide in the bathroom at work and dig my fingernails into my arm until it bled, just to release the tension. And then the day came.

It began like any other, but then there was a change in the wind. Dark clouds gathered in the distance, heavy and hateful. I hurried home, ahead of the storm. With every step I took towards the apartment, I got madder and madder. I hadn’t had my medicine in two weeks, which might have contributed to the anger, or maybe it was just the oppressive weather. As I walked in the front door something hit me wrong. It might have been his sneering face, or the years of anger built up like a boiling pot. Whatever it was, I finally snapped.

He was lying on the couch with a beer in his hand, and I pulled it away and threw it across the room. He sat bolt upright and shouted at me to “take a chill pill” but, there wasn’t enough medicine in the world to calm me down. As my anger raged, I knew I was changing into the creature I’d always feared, but there was nothing I could do about it. I screamed and shouted and beat at his face with my fists. When he fought back I used my shoe, pounding him again and again with the stiletto heal while he screamed. I’d finally learned an important lesson: you gotta take the bull by the horns sometimes, because the shit just keeps getting deeper.

The shoe fell to the floor and he lay still. His beautiful face was ruined but he wasn’t dead, not like he deserved. Regardless, I didn’t have time to waste. I packed my bags as fast as I could and ran from the apartment to the bus station, but the police got there before the bus. The handcuffs were cold on my wrists, still I didn’t struggle. From there life became a blur. A judge yelled at me, a courtroom of onlookers sneered and then I found the days growing longer and longer as the jail sentence passed. I would have been out sooner, but I took my last lesson seriously. Everything had made me tough as nails and I was tired of being knocked down. It was my turn to hit back.

Finally, they let me out and I found myself falling right back into the niche I’d left. A job at the bar, an apartment in the rundown section, another man with dark hair and sly eyes. It was like a never ending circle and that’s when I decided to really learn something and break the cycle. The only way to do that was to let go; let go of all the misery, and go forward into a world of hope. So, I decided to leave this town of pain.

The bus pulls up and I slowly look back as I stepped on it, relief in my eyes. I want to live, to experience how real love feels, to see what it’s like not to be belittled and used. My new life is going to be different and full of promise. I’ve chosen a new path and I need to follow it, no matter how scary it seems, and it does seem scary. The fear of the unknown silently haunts me as I looked out the bus window, getting comfortable for the journey ahead. I can’t help but wonder, will I finally have my freedom, or will the same old life find me no matter how far I run? That life is something I’m tired of, a prickly bush of fear and sorrow, the beauty of life’s rose lost among the pain of the thorns. If there’s one thing I’ve learned at last, it’s that there is no change unless you make the changes in yourself first, otherwise you just drag the past with you. At last, a lesson worth learning.

********************
Hey, it has a happy ending 🙂

song playing at the moment – Control – The Birthday Massacre 

Rambling Poetry: Ring Around the Rosies

(originally from July 28, 2008)

No idea where this came from……

Ring Around the Rosies

So it’s ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies,

Three times, three times, now we hit the ground,

While memories slip through fingers, like petals of flowers

And the whimpering wind carries that sweet as honey sound.

 

A reminder in slow motion, of a world nearly forgotten

And a place that is forsaken, lost down paths I cannot find.

Amidst the summer keening, where the young heart’s always reeling

And the afternoon’s spent dreaming of warm places in the mind

 

There in velvet colored shadows I can find the smallest whisper

To remind me of the feelings that once a time were dear.

But to ponder and to worry on the emotion and occurrence,

Many years past now a blur, seems a game too childish here.

 

Because no person place or thing in the web of here and now

Can live up to imagination or those memories now dreams.

So to while away the hours, wasting all recourse and powers,

On contemplation and comparison is as useless as it seems.

 

Still, I recall them slowly, and though the memories seem perfect

Sublime nature’s an illusion a façade to hide the truth.

And perfection only seems so when you’re standing far away

From the source of your delusion, from reality aloof.

 

Two birds in the hand are worth five in the past.

If it’s gone it didn’t last, so it’s nothing that you need

Instead of hanging on and pining, inwardly sigh and dying

Take a look at what surrounds you and let the wistfulness recede.

Song playing at the moment – AFI – Beautiful Thieves

Random Poetry: Remember

(originally from July 28, 2008)

 

Just a  random poem I was playing around with.

Of interest – that poem has since been published in the Spring 2010 Target Audience Magazine 🙂

Song playing at the moment – I Will Follow You into the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie

Collab

Okay, so I am getting back to posting the worthwhile stuff I have accumulated over the years….

(from July 2008)

This was written for the CPCC weekly collab share:

     OPEN YOUR EYES…
Soaked in sweat, startled awake from my dream,
In the cold morning light, nothing‘s as dark as it seems.
The land was purple and golden, cool light hypnotize,
turquoise in water, a lightning bolt pierced the sky.
OPEN YOUR EYES…
I stand on the zenith beneath the star’s shower of dust,
arms opened, eyes closed in a portrait of lust.
With memories, I paint your beauty on the backs of my eyes,
while your voice slips away, echoing through my mind.
OPEN YOUR EYES…
I wander through fields, alone in time, lost.
Seeking you, needing you, I’ll pay blood as my cost.
Then I see you approach, as from heavens serene,
But there’s fear in your eyes, like a cold, frozen scream
OPEN YOUR EYES…
I try to reach for you, but you’re flying away
As night turns to dawn and dawn turns to day.
You cry, “Circle back, before I hit the ground.”
And I catch you, holding tight, not making a sound.
OPEN YOUR EYES…
But you slip through my hands, as the moonlight past the sun.
You flee into the mist, all my hope is undone.
Wracked in despair, this is where I will lay me down,
without a word or a whisper, no stone and no mound.
OPEN YOUR EYES…
It’s just one dream consistent, day after day;
repeating, reoccurring, endless cycles of pain.
I must conquer this fear, this nightmare of mine,
The circle is broad, but I’ll pass beyond it this time.
OPEN YOUR EYES…
Soaked in sweat, startled awake from my dream,
in the cold morning light, nothing is as dark as it seems…

(Some lines are from: Cheryl, Debra, Colleen B, Off2Troy, Lady Seda, Lanie, Tyler, Linda, Miranda, Raiden, BlackSunchine, joshibear, Michelle, Winetr’s Chuld & juliet)

As a bonus, The poetry nest has a Bermuda Triangle shindig happening and here’s what I dropped off there….

ABDUCTED:
eyes of onyx stare
infusing fear into my soul
taking away hope

I blink back in confusion
attempting to comprehend
trying to understand

the boat sinks below me
slipping underneath the waves
disappearing to the bottom

aliens move around me
restraining me for the journey
ignoring my fear

The Bermuda triangle grows smaller
shrinking in the view screen
disappearing as we leave

the spaceship flies away
leaving behind the earth
taking me to unknown places

Song playing at the moment – Lacuna Coil – Kill the Light

Photo(s) of the Day – Week 30

I’ve been taking a photo a day since December 9th and uploading it to facebook – then I ran into a cool blog where they take a photo a day and post the photos in a weekly blog. So I thought, hey, I should steal that idea (before they pass a law to make that illegal too!).

I’m behind again. It’s so sad to see how behind I get!

For some reason my Retro Camera app is not working right – it won;t focus 😦 So I have switched to the One Man with Camera app – mainly the Holga (which cost $.99) as it has the square photos like retro camera does.

July 8- my mom painted this for me when I was a kid

July 9 – Hideki is so cute

July 11 – Mummy. AHAHAHAHAHA!

July 12 – The eye of mordor

June 13 – Someone left their shoes out in the rain (hint – it was hubby)

July 14 – Courtesy of I Smell Sheep – awesome blog right there!

Song playing at the moment – Rasmus – Wicked Moments

Photo(s) of the Day – Week 29

I’ve been taking a photo a day since December 9th and uploading it to facebook – then I ran into a cool blog where they take a photo a day and post the photos in a weekly blog. So I thought, hey, I should steal that idea (before they pass a law to make that illegal too!).

I’m behind again. It’s so sad to see how behind I get!

For some reason my Retro Camera app is not working right – it won’t focus 😦 So I have switched to the One Man with Camera app – mainly the Holga (which cost $.99) as it has the square photos like retro camera does.

July 1 – awesome rest stop mural.

July 2 – rural sunset

July 3 – I want one of these!

July 4 – waiting for fireworks

July 5 – Hy-Vee pork chop dinner

July 7 – rain YAY!!!

Song playing at the moment – Rasmus – Wicked Moments

Photo(s) of the Day – Week 28

I’ve been taking a photo a day since December 9th and uploading it to facebook – then I ran into a cool blog where they take a photo a day and post the photos in a weekly blog. So I thought, hey, I should steal that idea (before they pass a law to make that illegal too!).

I’m behind again. It’s so sad to see how behind I get!

For some reason my Retro Camera app is not working right – it won’t focus 😦 So I have switched to the One Man with Camera app – mainly the Holga (which cost $.99) as it has the square photos like retro camera does.

June 24 – a glitch in the bro’s video game…(it’s Turning Point: Fall of Liberty)

June 25 – Chris pigging out at Hardees in Harrisonville (or somewhere like that)

June 26 – the coolest purse EVER!! (Yes, I bought it! whoo-hoo!)

June 27 – Mondo’s Spaghetti in Shenandoah, Iowa

June 28 – The Villisca Ax Murder house

June 29 – Carnage – the morning after (this is SOME of Jason’s pile!)

June 30 – BBQ ala Jason

Song playing at the moment – Placebo – Bruise Pristine