A little Harry Potter Flash Fan Fic Challenge
(Nov 21, 2008)
This is a challenge from Devon’s Blog back on MySpace. The challenge was to write a story of either twilight or Harry Potter fan fic that used the line “Your face is my sex toy”. I’ve never written any Twilight fic, so I stuck with familiar characters.
“Now watch this.”
Those were Fred’s infamous words as he stood, half concealed behind a large bush on the Weasley property. Two other pairs of eyes stared from behind the fluffy green leaves and watched their sister with Harry, the boy that was slowly turning into something far more serious than a crush.
Ron snickered. “You know, Harry’s going to kill you, right?”
“You have no thirst for knowledge,” George replied, clapping his brother on the back. “I’m sure Harry will understand that this is in the pursuit of discovery-”
Fred waved his twin to silence and continued to stare. If the Yapping Yum-yums could have been activated simply by sheer willpower then Ginny would have been babbling already. As it was, they took a good ten minutes after ingested.
Ron scratched his chin impatiently. He didn’t have a lot of faith in the twins’ newest invention. “I don’t want to be a bother but-”
“Then be quiet,” Fred muttered testily.
“Before we have to feed these to you,” George added for good measure. Not that experimenting on Ron was a bad idea, or one they weren’t ready to embrace. It was just that they’d needed someone to give Harry the chocolates so that he’d pass them to Ginny. There was no way she’d have taken anything that either Fred or George gave her. She was a sight smarter than that – and they knew it.
Ron fell silent. Harry continued to lean against the trunk of a gnarled oak tree and Ginny continued to talk to him. At first her words made the eavesdroppers a little ill, but that quickly changed.
“-I do love you, Harry. You know I do, but you have to learn to trust me more. Communicate. I may not be Ron or Hermione, but I’m just as capable as that tart-”
Harry’s eyes grew wide. “What?”
“What?” she echoed, and Fred and George silently high fived to the oblivious look on her face.
“I said that I can help you just as well as they can. Sure, I may not spend every minute in a book, but I still know things. I suppose it’s just as well she does though, the way Ron fancies her. He’s such a dope he’ll have to marry someone who has an IQ higher than a houseplant-”
Ron silently fumed and George had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. “This is brutal.”
“- I was really afraid Lavender had him. She’s nothing but powder and rouge, no substance of any kind. Bloody hell, imagine having her as a sister in law. It would be as bad as Phlegm’s going to be. Merlin but what possesses Bill to ever go for a French bint like that? Oh, wait, I know, I know!” She struck a decidedly seductive pose that left Harry wide eyed. “I cannot help eet, Harry, I am in love viz you. I vill do vatever you vish me to zo long as you are ‘appy vith me.”
Harry gave an appreciative laugh, but it seemed a little forced. “Are you feeling all right?”
“I feel fine!” Ginny cried, and then she took on a decidedly devilish look. She captured Harry’s startled face between her hands and gazed into his eyes. “I feel perfect,” she purred. “Maybe you should ‘feel’ me and see.”
The boys in the bush all exchanged horrified looks. “She can’t mean-” Ron began, but his words turned into a tight strangled noise when Ginny placed Harry’s hand squarely on her butt.
“We don’t need to see this,” George murmured.
“I know, but we can’t get out of here-”
“They’ll see us,” George finished. “And apparition is too loud.”
Ginny knocked Harry back against the tree and kissed him passionately while the eavesdroppers continued to argue, they were torn between the brotherly desire to do something about this, the heart of a scientist which said to let things play out, and the old fashioned British desire to run when the going got tough.
What small amount of reluctance Harry had shown previously fled under the power of that kiss, and when next the boys looked the pair was making out heavily beneath the tree.
“Merlin’s balls!” Ron hissed and covered his eyes. “I can’t take this!”
“I know,” Fred snapped. “Ah, forget it, come on let’s just-”
“Oh Harry. Your face is my sex toy!”
“That’s it!” Ron shouted at full volume and the dissapparated with a snap. The twins quickly followed him, and though they called the tests a success, the Yapping yum-yums were never added to their inventory and Mrs. Weasley was certain she heard them performing mild memory charms on one another.